A Love Letter To My Father...Plus Steak
Ginger Soy Marinated Porterhouse Steak with Honey Wasabi Sauce and Crispy Smashed Potatoes
As we enter the third week of this newsletter, I'm excited to share a deeply personal story about my relationship with my father, Phillip R. Maddox. This week, we're also featuring a unique twist on a classic Father's Day meal. I chose this meal why? Simply because I know my dad loves a good steak. So, let’s dive in!
This week’s story is inspired by my father, Phillip R. Maddox. He’s a man of many talents and unwavering resilience….or stubbornness, if you must say. Imagine a man who could transform a bare axle into a roaring classic car, each part meticulously sourced and assembled. He’s remodeled homes and churches, never shying away from too many projects, no matter the difficulty. (And he completed them, too! This isn’t a man who starts things to stop them, at least not often). Even after a stroke over a decade ago, which left him relearning how to use his hands and body, he still has a never-ending list of projects. The man is unstoppable.
My father is a man of tradition and a steadfast devotee of Nike Monarchs, haha. This is a testament to his aversion to change (If you know, you know). But beneath this unchanging exterior lies a heart that has seen and endured a lot. Our relationship hasn’t always been the picture-perfect bond you see in movies. We’ve struggled, fought, yelled, and even given each other the cold shoulder. There were countless days when I couldn’t bring myself to call him ‘Dad,’ let alone save his number in my phone, and that’s not the worst of it. I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t see that I was his only daughter and he was my only father. To the outside world, everything seemed fine, but behind closed doors, we grappled with what we meant to each other.
Navigating our relationship has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life, yet it has brought invaluable lessons and gifts. Today, where we stand is a testament to the power of love, forgiveness, and understanding. It's a testament to the fact that relationships can evolve and grow, even in the face of adversity.
There was a time when I questioned our future, uncertain about what kind of relationship my children would have with their grandfather. As a young girl, I longed for a deeper connection with my father. Now, as an adult and a parent, I understand that my father gave me the best he could, considering his childhood experiences. This understanding doesn’t excuse certain behaviors but provides a lens through which I can see his struggles and the love he tries to express in his own way.
There were moments I wished he had treated me more like a son. Though I relished playing with dolls, the thrill of building model cars and gluing each miniature piece together was the quality time I envisioned us spending together. I don’t own a classic car yet, but one day, I dream of getting a ‘66 or ‘67 Fastback Mustang in bumblebee yellow with black stripes, just like the one he built. I can’t wait to take him for a spin in mine. (Lord, I’ve seen what you have done for others!) Or those times I yearned to mow the lawn with the precision he did. Even now, I can’t wait to get my hands on a zero-turn lawn mower – it’s a wrap every weekend! I remember the go-kart he sold just as I was old enough to drive it. The quiet tears I shed when it was gone were a testament to my unspoken desires. I was ready to tear those streets up!
One skill I wish he had taught me earlier is grilling. He always saw it as a man’s job, but truth be told, I can throw down on the grill just as well.
The funny thing is, despite not spending much one-on-one time together growing up, I watched everything he did. I learned so much just from observing him. Today, I am the “Barbara the Builder” of my own home and the proud caretaker of my lawn. And so is my one-year-old son, so don’t ask me why. He loves yard work as a baby. And Yes, I inspect the lawn with my hands behind my back, like a true lawn manicurist does. Can you picture it? And who would have thought that I’d love tools just as much as you?
I know I’m taking a long time to get to the recipe, so let’s get to the heart of the matter.
Dad, if you’re reading this, I want to say thank you. Despite the many challenges, I’m so proud of who I’ve become because of you. Even when you didn’t know I was watching, you gave me countless gifts and lessons that have equipped me for life’s most challenging moments. Though you sometimes saw me as just a girl and shielded me from things society deemed “for men,” that mindset pushed me to become the strong, capable woman I am today. And that drive in me is unmatched. There’s nothing I can’t do, and if someone thinks there is, I will prove them wrong. Though I am married, I still believe there’s nothing a man can do that I can’t. I am forever grateful for the love and support you've given me.
Despite our rocky start, you were my daughter’s first best friend. She can’t imagine a world without you and considers you deeply. If it brings comfort to say this, you got this one right with her. And with my son, I already see so much of you in him. That little man loves manual labor.
As an adult, you’ve shown up for me in ways I never thought possible. It feels like we’ve finally got it right. I know we’ll still have disagreements, but I hope we always find our way back to this place of understanding and love. And let me say this now: It’s never too late to teach me new things. At this point, we’ve built an entire mobile bar together; we might as well keep it going.
I hope you never give up on us. I promise I won’t. And while we still have time, let’s make the most of it.
Now, let’s not keep you waiting any longer. It's time to unveil the delicious twist on that Father’s Day classic. Trust me, you won’t want to miss this!
Also, I am still thinking of a master plan to get you to move to Savannah one day! We have longer seasons for the yard!
Happy Father’s Day!
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